Life REALLY is full of laughs

Current mood: contemplative

I just finished reading Jenny McCarthy's book, "Life Laughs". When I was pregnant I read her "Belly Laughs" book too, and it was a riot! I didn't know what to think of Jenny before I read her books, because I thought she was a beautiful, sexy, crude, nasty, bitch. Well, come to find out- she really is all those things- except the nasty bitch part. lol… I read her books and I feel like she is a mirrored image of me and what I feel. She makes me laugh after each chapter- I would stop and think- Holy Crap, this is me, and probably every other girl in the world. She began to talk about life in general, than life in a marriage or serious relationship- both which I can relate to, than life as a mother- again- more that i can relate to. Then she talks about her divorce and her reasons for it- OH MY GOSH- she is saying exactly how I feel. EXACTLY- IN fact she wrote exactly what I wrote myself on a piece of paper last week. Is this a sign?Then she writes about being a single mother… and her fears of being alone and dating again. I read this book in one sitting; I bought it yesterday, started this evening and just finished 30 minutes ago. I felt like I was laughing with a friend, I felt understood… when really I understood her! I think more of Jenny now realizing she is human and REAL just like the rest of us, and so what if she is totally sexy and gorgeous- she has her insecurities too and she revs you up to be more confident. Thank you Jenny!!!

I have all the answers I want and I know what I have to do, but I feel so overly alone in my world right now, that I am choosing to not listen to my heart and do what is the laziest. Why do we do this to ourselves? One of my best girlfriends has been there lately to help me express my real feelings and she has no idea that she is giving me much needed advice. BUT- I don't know what to do with it- I am the person I hate to be right now. I have fabulous people in my life why can't I find my own strength within these people? And what about my family- would they be supportive?