Waking up this morning to a house full of boxes and empty rolls of packing tape really put things in perspective. The movers showed up at 8:30am and began to load the moving truck. This was no ordinary moving truck, oh no, this was a tractor trailer too large to really fit into the neighborhood, but they managed.
We did little things throughout the day, cleaned up, packed up little things, walked the dogs, and just …waited. We couldn't’t leave until they were done loading the truck. As I would go from room to room, I’d think of random memories and laugh, or tear up. I absolutely love this house. This house is our first home for both of us. The first home we purchased, put love into, painted, entertained in and created so many memories, even in just a year. Soooo much happens in a year. As I walked around the house with the dogs I remember just five months ago, we had our rehearsal dinner held here in our own backyard. And due to the craziness of Pennsylvania weather – Jenn, Hope and Amanda managed to make the rehearsal happen in the small confinements of my garage. I kept thinking how great to felt to have everyone here in PA for the wedding, here in our home, in our backyard – I cried thinking of how blessed we truly are and how thankful I am for our friends who have done so much for us, and how our lives have been transformed because we had moved to Pittsburgh. I will always be so grateful for the move to Pittsburgh and for the relationships made.
I missed work today, I mean; I got up early, got dressed and did my make up, but I didn’t get to see my people. It’s Tuesday ~ the day I’d see Nancy. This made me sad. I know Trisha is there taking care of everyone so I feel that all is in good hands. I’m going to miss seeing their faces – the welcoming smile of Denise, the heartwarming smile of Trisha, the comforting smile of Nancy, and the curious smile from LG.
Right before dark, the movers were about done and packing up the last few things and cleaning up their mess and the Clark Family and Hope show up! Jenn, Ryan, Hope and the kids have been huge blessings to our family. You don’t meet friends like that every day and I find myself coming to tears again thinking of how much I’m going to miss them.
After the Clark’s left, the movers left, I went to each room… slid my hand across each wall, thought of all the memories made in each room, and in the entire house and cried until my cheeks hurt. Ally says to me, “Mommy, why are you sad? Don’t you want to live with Daddy and me in Memphis? You don’t want to live here alone do you?” I had to chuckle at the cuteness of the question. The room that brought me to a sob was the guest room. We found my mom’s deodorant, from when she stayed here for the wedding, during the move, which reminded me…. We got to have my grandma, my mom, my sister, my nephew and all my bridesmaids (my bestest girlfriends) & Adam stay with Ally & I the week/weekend of the wedding. Ally had her mom, grandma and great grandma all in one house for at least a week together. How awesome is that?! I remember when Daleena came and drew all the letters in Ally’s playroom and helped paint them on her wall. I remember staying up till 1am talking to Nancy on the phone hand painting green circles on Ally’s bedroom’s ceiling. I remember one random Saturday afternoon; I was bored so I decided to paint to living room wall – with a color I had found in the garage… plum purple. I’ve been so in love with that wall ever since.
After wiping my tears away and collecting myself, I rolled the trash to the sidewalk for the very last time, took a look around the neighborhood one last time and loaded everyone up in the jeep. Just so you understand what kind of travel this is… I have a 07 Jeep Cherokee, I LOVE it. It’s roomy, great ride, good on gas for an SUV, great storage area etc. We are taking… a huge box of the items the movers would not pack – cleaning products ie: soaps, cleaners, sprays aerosols, lighters, batteries, propane tank, champagne, guns, ammo, hair spray, nail polish remover, drano, Insect killer, WD40, etc etc….. a laundry basket full of towels, washcloths, a shower curtain, wipes, makeup caboodle, laptop, dog bowls, dishes, cat dishes, animal food containers, blankets, sleeping bags, air mattresses, a Gerber daisy plant, a large suitcase for all of our clothes, a smaller suitcase for all our toiletries, lotions and bath items. A large bag of showering/bathing items, etc. Pillows, the cat and the cat carrier, and movies, and a few random items and that’s just in the back. In the backseat we have Ally in her car seat and the dogs…. Nadia and our newest member Toshi. He is a German shepherd and not small. So, needless to say – it’s a tight ride. The trip for a single person with no stops straight through would be 14 hours. Considering we have 2 dogs, a 4 year old and 2 adult bladders, we factor in several ‘leg stretching, pee’ breaks as well as ‘get the hell out of the vehicle’ breaks.
After 40 minutes of driving Patrick is almost asleep at the wheel, so after one of our ‘pee’ breaks, we switch drivers. All the animals were asleep and the kid was knocked out cold. After 5 miles it was like driving alone. My driving mood is totally controlled by what I am listening to, or what I’m around. My environment completely controls my mood. There, I said it. Ok, so Patrick awakens for a moment to help set up the ipod and we put it on my ROAD TRIP playlist. For those of you, who know me; understand that the list will never make sense, no matter how it’s categorized. I am a nervous night driver. 1. I can’t see a damn thing once the lights go out. 2. I hate driving near, behind, in front of our around big trucks. 3. I hate two lane highways that don’t warn you that you are about to turn at 65 MPH. 4. I hate that I can’t see an exit sign, road sign, or COLUMBUS 41 Miles sign until I get to it. So, I use music as my tools to overcome these things. Well, just number 2 anyway. If I listen to Sublime while driving or anything with a guitar, I am fearless when driving around big trucks. Ok, now mind you, I still grip the wheel so hard my knuckles turn white and ,my hands sweat like a pig, but I don’t notice it till later. ;) I’ve become awesome at passing big trucks. Tonight I’d just sing at the top of my lungs and I’d fly right by them, however, then a #3 would happen and my heart would flip over upside down and I’m thankful everyone was asleep so they can’t hear the dirty word that may or may not have fallen out of my mouth.
We are now in Columbus, Ohio. I brutally dislike Ohio. We are staying the night in an Econo Lodge. It was by choice, however this choice was made based on three reasons… we have 3 animals, Starbucks is across the street, and they have access from the parking lot (not of that stair climbing crap). Well, for starters… I won’t let any of us take our socks off. We are using our own pillows, Not sure if I’m going to shower and if I do, I will definitely be taking one in my flip flops. The tv remote doesn’t work and the tv shuts off when it feels like it. Apparently it just has about enough of being on. The lamp doesn’t work… in any of the outlets. The animals don’t seem to mind it – they get to sleep on pillows tonight. ;) Ally can’t wait to get to the new house that is all she can talk about, so we’re off to bed… LONG day of driving tomorrow. I believe tomorrow we’ll be stopping in Nashville to say hello. :)
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Manic Monday
Current mood: amused
I first woke up to the sound of my alarm - it's the ring tone that sounds like 'Happy Horse Riding Music'. I quickly rolled over so I could put an end to this 'Happy Music', so I reached over and grabbed my phone. Whew ~ I hit SNOOZE. 10 minutes should do it. :)
(* side note* who ever created "snooze" is a 'brilliant idiot' - if that's even possible to be a positive negative. This is ALL psychological. You don't actually get any more rest by pressing snooze, in fact you really just piss yourself off by not being able to sleep.*)
My alarm goes off again... this begins my manic Monday.
I take the bus into work on a daily basis and from time to time (ok, almost always) I fall asleep on the bus. Since my commute is 45 mins to an hour, it's a good nap. ;) Well, sometimes I fall into too deep of a sleep. This was one of those mornings. I was sitting next to a friend of mine, Janet and a familiar gentleman who frequents the bus, who's name is unknown. In my deep sleep, I believe to have leaned on each of them like pillows. To make it all better, I do not wake up once we get into the city. I wake up as the bus is at my stop and people are departing the bus. I realize this because I just got bashed in the head with a big ass purse. I want to curse at this person, however, i quickly realize, no! I am thanking this person, and their purse for waking me in time for work... This bus would've taken me to Oakland.
Its now after work... I pick my daughter up from school, who makes us search the entire school almost for a clip she wore that day that belongs to a friend of hers. Her eyes filled up with tears as she said "I don't want her to be mad at me!" (her being Jocelynn). We never found the clip, but I did say that we'd go and buy some clips to give back to her, so... mental note. BUY CLIPS.
I explained to Ally that we had to run to the grocery store to grab a few items and she unexcitedly agreed to go (as if she really had a choice). We came home to walk Nadia first then went to Kuhns - the local Grocery. As we pull into the parking lot and put the jeep in park, my phone rings. It's Patrick. :) It was his first day at work in Memphis, so I was very eager to talk with him. We stayed in the jeep to chat with him until all of a sudden Ally says "Mommy, I have to go potty!" - and what that really means is " I'm about to pee my pants in T- 2.5 seconds, FYI." So, I abruptly hang up the phone, drag Ally out of the jeep, and run like hell across the parking lot. We run into the store and I'm looking around like a crazy person begging Ally to hold it. She keeps saying 'I'm trying mom, but I can't hold it any longer' and inside I'm thinking - oh please no, please no, I don't want a "clean up on aisle 12" issue on my hands. A young girl asks "are you looking for the bathroom? I almost scream 'yes!', she explaining to me where it is as I'm running away from her, hoping Ally is not peeing her pants. I'm literally dragging her across the store, I just know I am... she's asking about mayo, crackers, ham, stuff..... I just kept saying, 'keep holding it'... finally after running across the whole damn store going through two huge double doors, making a left passing a lunch room and making a right we see the ladies room! i rush her in the rest room and she says before sitting down. " mom, can i lock my door!?" I think I felt my eye balls pop out of my face. then she sits on the toilet, and I hear trickle, trickle. Then 'k, mom ,I tried'. me - " oh no, you sit right back down and pee, we ran all the way back here because you had to pee, i better hear some pee, not some drips". eventually Niagara falls came, but sheesh... so then we walk back out to go grab a cart. I was on a mission for a pomegranate which i never did find, i saw them in the back, i should've helped myself... anyway, Ally told me she really wanted some pickles so I said 'sure'. We grab a small jar of pickle spears and go to the frozen veggie isle. We are perusing the aisle for dinner ideas when all of a sudden.....
crash! the jar of pickles fell the the floor and glass and pickles went EVERYWHERE, not only to mention the smell of pickle juice became the surrounding aroma. I flagged down an employee and apologized and explained the accident, and wouldn't you know it.... " clean up on aisle 8" ( an accident was bound to happen one way or another)...
I was tucking Ally in and saying goodnight, when her attitude started up again. I'm convinced its the age, but I'm trying really hard to nip the disrespect in the bud. We had a talk about her attitude and how it wasn't going to be accepted etc. And she responds by saying " mommy, i want to do God's will, and that's listening to my mom and dad. so I will adjust my listening." Let me remind you , she's 4. It warmed my heart, to know that her heart is set in the right place and she knows what our purpose is to do God's will. It takes people their entire lives to figure that out.
... constantly praying for inner peace inside those who need it. I pray that God softens those hearts that have been hardened, I pray for our enemies, and I pray that God will watch over us all and keep us all safe. In Jesus Name...
I first woke up to the sound of my alarm - it's the ring tone that sounds like 'Happy Horse Riding Music'. I quickly rolled over so I could put an end to this 'Happy Music', so I reached over and grabbed my phone. Whew ~ I hit SNOOZE. 10 minutes should do it. :)
(* side note* who ever created "snooze" is a 'brilliant idiot' - if that's even possible to be a positive negative. This is ALL psychological. You don't actually get any more rest by pressing snooze, in fact you really just piss yourself off by not being able to sleep.*)
My alarm goes off again... this begins my manic Monday.
I take the bus into work on a daily basis and from time to time (ok, almost always) I fall asleep on the bus. Since my commute is 45 mins to an hour, it's a good nap. ;) Well, sometimes I fall into too deep of a sleep. This was one of those mornings. I was sitting next to a friend of mine, Janet and a familiar gentleman who frequents the bus, who's name is unknown. In my deep sleep, I believe to have leaned on each of them like pillows. To make it all better, I do not wake up once we get into the city. I wake up as the bus is at my stop and people are departing the bus. I realize this because I just got bashed in the head with a big ass purse. I want to curse at this person, however, i quickly realize, no! I am thanking this person, and their purse for waking me in time for work... This bus would've taken me to Oakland.
Its now after work... I pick my daughter up from school, who makes us search the entire school almost for a clip she wore that day that belongs to a friend of hers. Her eyes filled up with tears as she said "I don't want her to be mad at me!" (her being Jocelynn). We never found the clip, but I did say that we'd go and buy some clips to give back to her, so... mental note. BUY CLIPS.
I explained to Ally that we had to run to the grocery store to grab a few items and she unexcitedly agreed to go (as if she really had a choice). We came home to walk Nadia first then went to Kuhns - the local Grocery. As we pull into the parking lot and put the jeep in park, my phone rings. It's Patrick. :) It was his first day at work in Memphis, so I was very eager to talk with him. We stayed in the jeep to chat with him until all of a sudden Ally says "Mommy, I have to go potty!" - and what that really means is " I'm about to pee my pants in T- 2.5 seconds, FYI." So, I abruptly hang up the phone, drag Ally out of the jeep, and run like hell across the parking lot. We run into the store and I'm looking around like a crazy person begging Ally to hold it. She keeps saying 'I'm trying mom, but I can't hold it any longer' and inside I'm thinking - oh please no, please no, I don't want a "clean up on aisle 12" issue on my hands. A young girl asks "are you looking for the bathroom? I almost scream 'yes!', she explaining to me where it is as I'm running away from her, hoping Ally is not peeing her pants. I'm literally dragging her across the store, I just know I am... she's asking about mayo, crackers, ham, stuff..... I just kept saying, 'keep holding it'... finally after running across the whole damn store going through two huge double doors, making a left passing a lunch room and making a right we see the ladies room! i rush her in the rest room and she says before sitting down. " mom, can i lock my door!?" I think I felt my eye balls pop out of my face. then she sits on the toilet, and I hear trickle, trickle. Then 'k, mom ,I tried'. me - " oh no, you sit right back down and pee, we ran all the way back here because you had to pee, i better hear some pee, not some drips". eventually Niagara falls came, but sheesh... so then we walk back out to go grab a cart. I was on a mission for a pomegranate which i never did find, i saw them in the back, i should've helped myself... anyway, Ally told me she really wanted some pickles so I said 'sure'. We grab a small jar of pickle spears and go to the frozen veggie isle. We are perusing the aisle for dinner ideas when all of a sudden.....
crash! the jar of pickles fell the the floor and glass and pickles went EVERYWHERE, not only to mention the smell of pickle juice became the surrounding aroma. I flagged down an employee and apologized and explained the accident, and wouldn't you know it.... " clean up on aisle 8" ( an accident was bound to happen one way or another)...
I was tucking Ally in and saying goodnight, when her attitude started up again. I'm convinced its the age, but I'm trying really hard to nip the disrespect in the bud. We had a talk about her attitude and how it wasn't going to be accepted etc. And she responds by saying " mommy, i want to do God's will, and that's listening to my mom and dad. so I will adjust my listening." Let me remind you , she's 4. It warmed my heart, to know that her heart is set in the right place and she knows what our purpose is to do God's will. It takes people their entire lives to figure that out.
... constantly praying for inner peace inside those who need it. I pray that God softens those hearts that have been hardened, I pray for our enemies, and I pray that God will watch over us all and keep us all safe. In Jesus Name...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
It's been a while...
Current mood: quiet
It's been a really long time since I have blogged. A lot has happened since then. In fact, you have no idea. Basic things in my life haven't changed...I still have the same job and live in the same house. However, so much has changed within those pieces of my life as well. I don't love my job like I used to, In fact I don't ever want to come to work in the morning, and when I get here I can't wait to leave. What I've loved about this job are becoming far, few and in between. The house... thats been an interesting ride. Within the first 6 months of owning our house we have issues with the plumbing, heating , cooling, roof, leaks, carpenter ants (luckily our house is concrete so it's not too bad) and over excessive trees that could potenially damage our home. Noe that spring time has arrived, we've been able to really change the look of the house, so we feel good about this. I planted gerbera daisies which are my favorite!
Our wedding is in July. This is good, I havent called it off again. hehehe. thats not really funny, but yeah... i guess it is now. I'm really excited about our wedding, Patrick and I are in a really special place that I think 6 years, trials, heart aches, laughter, tears, hate. love, sadness and hugs have turned in to something untouchable.
Several months ago I had been diagnosed with an illness, unfortunately very common, like ADD, Anxiety and Depression. And we learning to live with it everyday. Everyone seems to have some sort of ailment these days, I mean seriously- how did people live in the 1940's. 50's and so on... I think its the shit in our food - i mean seriosuly- we are all becoming fat- we are the ONLY country that is overweight. THE ONLY ONE! MOst of it is because we consume dairy and red meat, but I wont even go on that tangent. The last year I've consumed dairy and poultry and I'm not very proud of myself. Its like I gave up on me.
ugh, its time for me to leave work... but soon I will get back in the blogging world. i just realized that they go all the way back to 2005..... a lot has happened in the past few years. I believe I deleted a lot in the process.
It's been a really long time since I have blogged. A lot has happened since then. In fact, you have no idea. Basic things in my life haven't changed...I still have the same job and live in the same house. However, so much has changed within those pieces of my life as well. I don't love my job like I used to, In fact I don't ever want to come to work in the morning, and when I get here I can't wait to leave. What I've loved about this job are becoming far, few and in between. The house... thats been an interesting ride. Within the first 6 months of owning our house we have issues with the plumbing, heating , cooling, roof, leaks, carpenter ants (luckily our house is concrete so it's not too bad) and over excessive trees that could potenially damage our home. Noe that spring time has arrived, we've been able to really change the look of the house, so we feel good about this. I planted gerbera daisies which are my favorite!
Our wedding is in July. This is good, I havent called it off again. hehehe. thats not really funny, but yeah... i guess it is now. I'm really excited about our wedding, Patrick and I are in a really special place that I think 6 years, trials, heart aches, laughter, tears, hate. love, sadness and hugs have turned in to something untouchable.
Several months ago I had been diagnosed with an illness, unfortunately very common, like ADD, Anxiety and Depression. And we learning to live with it everyday. Everyone seems to have some sort of ailment these days, I mean seriously- how did people live in the 1940's. 50's and so on... I think its the shit in our food - i mean seriosuly- we are all becoming fat- we are the ONLY country that is overweight. THE ONLY ONE! MOst of it is because we consume dairy and red meat, but I wont even go on that tangent. The last year I've consumed dairy and poultry and I'm not very proud of myself. Its like I gave up on me.
ugh, its time for me to leave work... but soon I will get back in the blogging world. i just realized that they go all the way back to 2005..... a lot has happened in the past few years. I believe I deleted a lot in the process.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Cocktails and Alligators
Current mood: melancholy
A lot of things were said in our church membership classes that have been stuck in my head. Unable to repeat them verbatim I wish I had to ability to snap my fingers and get 'with it'. I'm so 'ugh' with myself, if that's even a fair description. I am blessed beyond absolute measure yet, I can't place those blessing into my brain. I'm emotionally missing something. I know it's because of 'me' and the lack of person I am. I've always been really ambitious with all the different things in Life I've wanted to do, experience etc.. And I let myself down somewhere, somehow. I don't love the way I used to and I'd like to love better. My heart is big- why am I not using it to its full capacity? And my brain- it not as full as it should be. I want to open up and let God lead me in the right direction. I've been in the same spot, I am fully aware of the changes that need to happen but I'm either confused how to get there or ridiculously lazy. I'm being so disrespectful to my family by not being everything I can be. I'm not the mom I wish I was because I use up all my energy in being tired and unmotivated. My daughter is the most precious being on this Earth; she deserves all of me and not what's left of me when I get home from work. Same with Patrick, he deserves more than the little bit I can possibly muster up the energy to give. My job has lost most of its beauty and I find my self frustrated more days than none. It takes so much out of me, but it is what needs to happen right now. What's wrong with me? I must make a change. PLEASE Lord, please take my hand, please guide my heart and soul in the right direction. Please don't allow me to wander aimlessly through life. Place me where I need to be to do your will. Thank you for all of the many blessings you have given me in my life and especially now.
A lot of things were said in our church membership classes that have been stuck in my head. Unable to repeat them verbatim I wish I had to ability to snap my fingers and get 'with it'. I'm so 'ugh' with myself, if that's even a fair description. I am blessed beyond absolute measure yet, I can't place those blessing into my brain. I'm emotionally missing something. I know it's because of 'me' and the lack of person I am. I've always been really ambitious with all the different things in Life I've wanted to do, experience etc.. And I let myself down somewhere, somehow. I don't love the way I used to and I'd like to love better. My heart is big- why am I not using it to its full capacity? And my brain- it not as full as it should be. I want to open up and let God lead me in the right direction. I've been in the same spot, I am fully aware of the changes that need to happen but I'm either confused how to get there or ridiculously lazy. I'm being so disrespectful to my family by not being everything I can be. I'm not the mom I wish I was because I use up all my energy in being tired and unmotivated. My daughter is the most precious being on this Earth; she deserves all of me and not what's left of me when I get home from work. Same with Patrick, he deserves more than the little bit I can possibly muster up the energy to give. My job has lost most of its beauty and I find my self frustrated more days than none. It takes so much out of me, but it is what needs to happen right now. What's wrong with me? I must make a change. PLEASE Lord, please take my hand, please guide my heart and soul in the right direction. Please don't allow me to wander aimlessly through life. Place me where I need to be to do your will. Thank you for all of the many blessings you have given me in my life and especially now.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Simply because its Friday
Current mood: cooky/wacky
for some reason my mind is SO not here at work. I've got a stack piled to each side of me and a 'to do' list that is only halfway checked off. Nothing too hard or overwhelming, and I know I could actually get all of it done by the time I leave (including the fact I am leaving early today) but I just cannot make myself get motivated. Obviously - I am on myspace. :) I also just opened a can of Diet Mountain Dew. HA! Noy much of a soda drinker (or POP as they call it here) but I guess I need the caffeine, the carbonation and the uh, yellow 5. lol
Last night all three of us worked out at the house close till 11pm. We are so tired. Not to mention the fact that Patrick works at 6am on Fridays as well as closes at Sears, so he literally works a 15+ hour day. Oh! and I forgot to mention that Nadia 'ran away' last night. lol, yep- we walked outside to load up in the jeep, she had to pee, so I waite dpatiently with passenger door open and she turned, looke dat me and was off! I yelled her name, and she just ran faster. Well, our new neighborhood is scarcly dark at night. Minutes later Patrick found her ( he went searching by truck)..... lets just say - Nadia and Patrick are still NOT speaking.
I had only two things to chose from to wear this morning (because everything is packed and at the other house) so I decided on the black vs. the black, yellow and white dress. hehehe well , little did I know the sun would go into hiding today and that the weather would drop 20 degrees. I am freezing my tukas off! I have a mini space heater going at my feet - on high, and I have a fleece scarf around my neck. My boss thinks I am a real piece of work - as he takes off as many layers as possible - he is hot. Go figure.
I'm craving pumpkin pie, french fries, and Blue Diamond Smokehouse almonds. Hmmm, where I CAN GET SOME OF THOSE??
I've gotten excited about this wedding planning process, I've written exactly what I want on many sheets of paper- when the thought comes to me. Its quite humorous. A lady on the bus this morning sat down next to me and as I was drawing stick figures with names across their chests she gave me a questionable look. I just smiled. I wanted to say ' I'm planning my wedding party's entrance'! lol, like she would have really cared and really I think I enjoyed the fact that she was questioning my adult artistic ability.
ok, I'm going to try to get going on my work projects... the caffeine has hit a tiny bot and it's almost lunch time AND.... I only have 3.5 -4 hours left of my day!
for some reason my mind is SO not here at work. I've got a stack piled to each side of me and a 'to do' list that is only halfway checked off. Nothing too hard or overwhelming, and I know I could actually get all of it done by the time I leave (including the fact I am leaving early today) but I just cannot make myself get motivated. Obviously - I am on myspace. :) I also just opened a can of Diet Mountain Dew. HA! Noy much of a soda drinker (or POP as they call it here) but I guess I need the caffeine, the carbonation and the uh, yellow 5. lol
Last night all three of us worked out at the house close till 11pm. We are so tired. Not to mention the fact that Patrick works at 6am on Fridays as well as closes at Sears, so he literally works a 15+ hour day. Oh! and I forgot to mention that Nadia 'ran away' last night. lol, yep- we walked outside to load up in the jeep, she had to pee, so I waite dpatiently with passenger door open and she turned, looke dat me and was off! I yelled her name, and she just ran faster. Well, our new neighborhood is scarcly dark at night. Minutes later Patrick found her ( he went searching by truck)..... lets just say - Nadia and Patrick are still NOT speaking.
I had only two things to chose from to wear this morning (because everything is packed and at the other house) so I decided on the black vs. the black, yellow and white dress. hehehe well , little did I know the sun would go into hiding today and that the weather would drop 20 degrees. I am freezing my tukas off! I have a mini space heater going at my feet - on high, and I have a fleece scarf around my neck. My boss thinks I am a real piece of work - as he takes off as many layers as possible - he is hot. Go figure.
I'm craving pumpkin pie, french fries, and Blue Diamond Smokehouse almonds. Hmmm, where I CAN GET SOME OF THOSE??
I've gotten excited about this wedding planning process, I've written exactly what I want on many sheets of paper- when the thought comes to me. Its quite humorous. A lady on the bus this morning sat down next to me and as I was drawing stick figures with names across their chests she gave me a questionable look. I just smiled. I wanted to say ' I'm planning my wedding party's entrance'! lol, like she would have really cared and really I think I enjoyed the fact that she was questioning my adult artistic ability.
ok, I'm going to try to get going on my work projects... the caffeine has hit a tiny bot and it's almost lunch time AND.... I only have 3.5 -4 hours left of my day!
Friday, October 3, 2008
It's Noon
Current mood: distractable
It must be exactly 12pm, noon. The church bells down the street at the Church of Christ Cathedral are ringing - ding, ding, ding.
I'm at work, miserable. It could be there is so much to do at my apartment, at the new house. Walls to be painted, rooms to be decorated. Or it could be I just want to save up my energy for my daughter and Patrick, or it could be that work, for the past couple of months, has been absolutely tense and exhausting. The beauty of my job is the simple fact that its not hard, stressfree and i enjoyed it because it was constantly changing. Lately its been the entire opposite. I still love the people I work with, but I've seen some colors shine that I prefer know not exist. Everybody goes through trying times and their lives seem to close up and any ugliness that they may have does begin to take over, however- as soon as it happens, in my mind, you realize it, slap yourself, and snap out of it! Why does everyone else have to be miserable with you?!?
Apart of me also goes back to my 'plan'. I've always wanted to do so many other things and go to school etc. Of course there have always been excuses for why I havent done any of those , and at this point, I am now a home owner- woo hoo - which means " YOU MUST WORK!" lol.... so obviously 'not working' is no longer an option. I wonder what will happen when Ally starts school - real school. she'll start later and end earlier... so then what? I want to be home when my daughter gets home from school, I want to help her get ready in the mornings. This is very important to me.
I know several people that 'work from home' who always rant and rave how fabulous it is to be home, and though only a pinch jealous - I have no desire to sell products out of my home via parties, sales calls, website sales etc. well, unless its Partylite. LOL I see it work wonders for people, but I don't think I could ever be that self motivated. HELLO- i can never go to the gym, even if I am in the parking lot! Funny thing is... one of my strong points as a manager and as an employee is I was always so great at self motivation! ha!
I wish I would've finished school to get my teaching credentials... that would be ideal.
I wish I could make a career out of planning our life together.. the house, Ally's school, her dance and the wedding. So far, plans with the wedding have been very smooth. Its still a challenge. We are doing this all by ourselves. No financial or planning help from anyone. Lots of people do that I know... but I wonder if they have a house, a three year old, and 9 months to save for a 'nice' wedding'. If so - please share some advice and words of wisdom... It will happen, I'm really not worried about it- which is so not me! I usually will find something to worry about. ... there is still time....
off to get some food....
It must be exactly 12pm, noon. The church bells down the street at the Church of Christ Cathedral are ringing - ding, ding, ding.
I'm at work, miserable. It could be there is so much to do at my apartment, at the new house. Walls to be painted, rooms to be decorated. Or it could be I just want to save up my energy for my daughter and Patrick, or it could be that work, for the past couple of months, has been absolutely tense and exhausting. The beauty of my job is the simple fact that its not hard, stressfree and i enjoyed it because it was constantly changing. Lately its been the entire opposite. I still love the people I work with, but I've seen some colors shine that I prefer know not exist. Everybody goes through trying times and their lives seem to close up and any ugliness that they may have does begin to take over, however- as soon as it happens, in my mind, you realize it, slap yourself, and snap out of it! Why does everyone else have to be miserable with you?!?
Apart of me also goes back to my 'plan'. I've always wanted to do so many other things and go to school etc. Of course there have always been excuses for why I havent done any of those , and at this point, I am now a home owner- woo hoo - which means " YOU MUST WORK!" lol.... so obviously 'not working' is no longer an option. I wonder what will happen when Ally starts school - real school. she'll start later and end earlier... so then what? I want to be home when my daughter gets home from school, I want to help her get ready in the mornings. This is very important to me.
I know several people that 'work from home' who always rant and rave how fabulous it is to be home, and though only a pinch jealous - I have no desire to sell products out of my home via parties, sales calls, website sales etc. well, unless its Partylite. LOL I see it work wonders for people, but I don't think I could ever be that self motivated. HELLO- i can never go to the gym, even if I am in the parking lot! Funny thing is... one of my strong points as a manager and as an employee is I was always so great at self motivation! ha!
I wish I would've finished school to get my teaching credentials... that would be ideal.
I wish I could make a career out of planning our life together.. the house, Ally's school, her dance and the wedding. So far, plans with the wedding have been very smooth. Its still a challenge. We are doing this all by ourselves. No financial or planning help from anyone. Lots of people do that I know... but I wonder if they have a house, a three year old, and 9 months to save for a 'nice' wedding'. If so - please share some advice and words of wisdom... It will happen, I'm really not worried about it- which is so not me! I usually will find something to worry about. ... there is still time....
off to get some food....
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Update of Events ~
So fall begins... its amazing how this city transitions almost immediately. Once Labor Day is over- there is no sign of summer; the leaves begin to change colors and the weather turns from heat to gray breezes. Ally first day back after the holiday was chaotic. The parking lot was out of control and dancers from age 5-16 in leotards were lined up in almost every corner of the studio. As a side note- her school is part of a large dance studio/gymnastics center. It's definitely the perk. This is the year that Ally can finally participate in the dance/gymnastic activities in her school, so of course we had to buy her ballet shoes and dance clothes- SHE IS ESTACTIC! I'll post pictures as soon as I can.
Well, as a perk of paying a large sum for tuition for daycare/school and for my daughter to partake in Carol Leone dance, the owner offered for me to enroll in any dance class I wanted – free of charge. I had always to take dance there but never had the 'extra funds' to do so. Last night was my first class – Adult Ballet and Jazz. Let me tell you, this is the first time in a long time I have felt inexperienced as a dancer or just not graceful. Granite, I did dance, cheer, hula about 8-10 years ago, but that seems soo long ago. And it showed. My instructor was fantastic and she said I did great, which was nice, however I am no ballerina. In fact, the last time I had anything to do with ballet was when I was 5. So- it's been a while. I had a good time though and today I am sore in places I've never been sore in. (well, not in the last 8 years anyway) There are four other girls in my class, and they have all been pretty much professionally dancing since they were 2 or 3. But it's not like I'm trying out for the nutcracker or anything, so no pressure, just fun. Since the class is a little more advanced that I seem to be, I can't help but laugh at myself. This will be the perfect 'my time' though. It's every Monday for an hour. I'll keep you posted.
We also added a new member to our family last night. For the past several months I fell in AWW with a grey stray cat that roamed the apartment complex. She was too skittish to ever pet her but she was so pretty to look at. A lady down below us works for the Humane Society, fell in aww with her too and began to feed her, so she pretty much became her outside cat. Well, this pretty kitty ended up having kittens. She had four. Our neighbor said she was going to wait till the kittens were 6 weeks and she was going to take the momma to get spayed and take the kittens to the Humane Society. I have a big heart for animals and ever since living with Katie-Laine I now have a special place for kitties. So, I told Ms. Jane (our neighbor) that we would take one in. So- tomorrow Momma kitty is going to get spayed which means, she can no longer nurse and the kitties will then need to be taken care of. Patrick volunteered to help gather the kittens so that we could keep one and the others can go to the Humane Society, well, unknowing of the daunting task that it is- Patrick tried to catch a kitty; after scratches, cuts, blood and bites, Patrick caught one kitten. It was a grey one, just like his momma. We took him in and kept him in a safe place. He warmed up to me almost immediately and so we now have a new family member. We take him today to the vet to get all checked out and full of shots, so it will then be official. As for the others, we still hope to catch them to take them to a safe place before the rains really start coming in, so wish us luck!
Patrick and I have started new, and we are in a really great place together and are super excited about buying our home. Its almost here and I just can't believe it. We close the 30th……..
I've been praying a lot lately for events to continue to be a smooth as they are and I've been consistently praying for a check to show up in the mail to help us out financially, with closing costs, things we need desperately- a new bed for all of us, a new car seat, dishes, dishwasher, etc. and you will won't believe it, but… a check showed up in the mail yesterday. A prayer had been answered!! However, the check I have been praying for is a couple hundred dollars or more, maybe a couple thousand or so, and the check we actually received was $20.00. God really does have a sense of humor- doesn't he?!
Well, as a perk of paying a large sum for tuition for daycare/school and for my daughter to partake in Carol Leone dance, the owner offered for me to enroll in any dance class I wanted – free of charge. I had always to take dance there but never had the 'extra funds' to do so. Last night was my first class – Adult Ballet and Jazz. Let me tell you, this is the first time in a long time I have felt inexperienced as a dancer or just not graceful. Granite, I did dance, cheer, hula about 8-10 years ago, but that seems soo long ago. And it showed. My instructor was fantastic and she said I did great, which was nice, however I am no ballerina. In fact, the last time I had anything to do with ballet was when I was 5. So- it's been a while. I had a good time though and today I am sore in places I've never been sore in. (well, not in the last 8 years anyway) There are four other girls in my class, and they have all been pretty much professionally dancing since they were 2 or 3. But it's not like I'm trying out for the nutcracker or anything, so no pressure, just fun. Since the class is a little more advanced that I seem to be, I can't help but laugh at myself. This will be the perfect 'my time' though. It's every Monday for an hour. I'll keep you posted.
We also added a new member to our family last night. For the past several months I fell in AWW with a grey stray cat that roamed the apartment complex. She was too skittish to ever pet her but she was so pretty to look at. A lady down below us works for the Humane Society, fell in aww with her too and began to feed her, so she pretty much became her outside cat. Well, this pretty kitty ended up having kittens. She had four. Our neighbor said she was going to wait till the kittens were 6 weeks and she was going to take the momma to get spayed and take the kittens to the Humane Society. I have a big heart for animals and ever since living with Katie-Laine I now have a special place for kitties. So, I told Ms. Jane (our neighbor) that we would take one in. So- tomorrow Momma kitty is going to get spayed which means, she can no longer nurse and the kitties will then need to be taken care of. Patrick volunteered to help gather the kittens so that we could keep one and the others can go to the Humane Society, well, unknowing of the daunting task that it is- Patrick tried to catch a kitty; after scratches, cuts, blood and bites, Patrick caught one kitten. It was a grey one, just like his momma. We took him in and kept him in a safe place. He warmed up to me almost immediately and so we now have a new family member. We take him today to the vet to get all checked out and full of shots, so it will then be official. As for the others, we still hope to catch them to take them to a safe place before the rains really start coming in, so wish us luck!
Patrick and I have started new, and we are in a really great place together and are super excited about buying our home. Its almost here and I just can't believe it. We close the 30th……..
I've been praying a lot lately for events to continue to be a smooth as they are and I've been consistently praying for a check to show up in the mail to help us out financially, with closing costs, things we need desperately- a new bed for all of us, a new car seat, dishes, dishwasher, etc. and you will won't believe it, but… a check showed up in the mail yesterday. A prayer had been answered!! However, the check I have been praying for is a couple hundred dollars or more, maybe a couple thousand or so, and the check we actually received was $20.00. God really does have a sense of humor- doesn't he?!
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