Wedding - Postponed.

Current mood: sad

Patrick and I have postponed the wedding. Right now after several weeks of going back and forth, I am not sure exactly how I feel about it. I feel sad and also relieved. So much pressure started building up on the both of us and we didn't want to make a decision based on time contraints.

At this time we haven't decided if the wedding is 'postponed' or 'off'. Why are decisons like these so difficult to make? We love each other and we are great parents together for Ally, but is that enough to get us through - FOREVER? My mother (one for her not so wise words of wisdom) said yesterday to me, "well, if it works, why not get married" I didn't know whether to laugh or be offended. You mean to tell me that I am basing my forever decision on the idea of loving someone whole heartedly for the rest of my life?! Shame on me! We should get married because it 'works'. Even Patrick thought this statement was ridiculous. But I can't take it to much to heart - it was my mother, and she is definately NOT one to take relationship advice from. (No offense)

Our friends have kept their opinions to themsleves mostly which is hard because the both of us care what they think (although we don't base our decisions on their opinions) , honestly, its been really hard being out here without our friends. And going back to that- our friends have still yet to visit! Hell, some don't even call. Anyway- that's another blog...

So, I sit here alone, pondering the next step... wondering... What's Next?!