Current mood: restless
I can't sleep. This is the 3rd week I have been like this. I sleep an average of three hours a night in my bed. It doesn't matter how tired I am. As soon as I get into bed, I am awake and my mind is going crazy, I can't get comfortable, and I just stare at the window, looking for some potential entertainment.
Right now, totally sleepy... sitting in the living room, eyes bug eyed, filling out surveys and sufring the web. UGH! Every now and then Ally or Nadia will wimper or cry/bark because of a bad dream, so I 'll have to get up and pad one or both of them on the back.
I need to feng shui our room, but of course Patrick says,"what the hell is that? " That is the item of furniture he placed on his own (the bed) and I would hate to have to move it. But really our head should face north and our feet should face the door, and our heads are not facing north!
Did I also mention that my throat hurts? Yep! It does, and that keeps me from falling asleep too. (of course)
By the way~ it snowed today. It didn't stick, but it was pretty cool. Our first PA snow. It's going to be a cold but beautiful winter. Well, I am going to surf around looking for job postings I guess... G'night!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
The Road Less Traveled
Current mood: refreshed
I think we can all agree that we often complain about life and all that happens in life... right? Well, I sure do. I think it is apart of our nature to dwell in the "whoa is me" song and dance. I am used to it from my family, friends, starngers, myself etc. Well, there is a book we all should read.
The Road Less Traveled M. SCOTT PECK, M.D.
I have read it all the way once years ago, and I have started it again. Now that I am in a totally different place in my life, it hits me in a totally different light. The first line and paragraph say exactly what we need to know!
*Life is difficult. This is great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a truth because we only truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-than life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longers matters.
Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily, or subtly, about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy. *
"Life is a series od problems. Do we want to moan about them or solve them? Do we want to teach our children to solve them?"
Great book!
I think we can all agree that we often complain about life and all that happens in life... right? Well, I sure do. I think it is apart of our nature to dwell in the "whoa is me" song and dance. I am used to it from my family, friends, starngers, myself etc. Well, there is a book we all should read.
The Road Less Traveled M. SCOTT PECK, M.D.
I have read it all the way once years ago, and I have started it again. Now that I am in a totally different place in my life, it hits me in a totally different light. The first line and paragraph say exactly what we need to know!
*Life is difficult. This is great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a truth because we only truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-than life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longers matters.
Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily, or subtly, about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy. *
"Life is a series od problems. Do we want to moan about them or solve them? Do we want to teach our children to solve them?"
Great book!
Monday, October 2, 2006
Arriving in PA
Current mood: excited
So, we arrived Saturday night, and got settled in to our hotel room at the Days Inn in Pittsburgh. I have to say that Pennsylvania is extremely beautiful. Nothing but hills. Everything is at the top of a hill. Fed Ex has its own mountain for their corporate office (fancy) Our hotel is on the top of a hill as well. Sunday we slept in and ate our free continental breakfast and traveled around our new town. Moon Township/Coraopolis. I really love it. It's so quaint and beautiful. J Our new apartment complex is in a secluded neighborhood surrounded by a forest of trees, it just so beautiful. All of the street signs are made of old wood with white paint of the titled street, it's so cute! We move into our apartment Wednesday and tomorrow we are going to the city of Pittsburgh- only 15 minutes maybe 20 minutes away. I am pretty excited about that. The movers are planning to be here Thursday or Friday. I will do my best to take pictures, this place is so beautiful.
So, we arrived Saturday night, and got settled in to our hotel room at the Days Inn in Pittsburgh. I have to say that Pennsylvania is extremely beautiful. Nothing but hills. Everything is at the top of a hill. Fed Ex has its own mountain for their corporate office (fancy) Our hotel is on the top of a hill as well. Sunday we slept in and ate our free continental breakfast and traveled around our new town. Moon Township/Coraopolis. I really love it. It's so quaint and beautiful. J Our new apartment complex is in a secluded neighborhood surrounded by a forest of trees, it just so beautiful. All of the street signs are made of old wood with white paint of the titled street, it's so cute! We move into our apartment Wednesday and tomorrow we are going to the city of Pittsburgh- only 15 minutes maybe 20 minutes away. I am pretty excited about that. The movers are planning to be here Thursday or Friday. I will do my best to take pictures, this place is so beautiful.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Road Trip to PA
Current mood: drained
So, late Friday night/morning around 3:30am EST, we arrive in Cincinnati, Ohio. We got a hotel at the Red roof Inn- a nice quiet hotel across from a gas station and a Bob Evans restaurant. We exhaustingly walk up the stairs to the 2nd floor to our room. Ally and Nadia not ever being in a hotel before get very excited- excited enough to NOT SLEEP!! Little miss was so tired and excited that she would just toss and turn and spout out little sounds- just to make sure we were still right there. Ugh it was a long night! So, at 5am- she finally falls asleep and promptly at 9am- she's awake. So, I get up with her since Patrick was driving he needed the sleep more so than I did, Ally and I left to the restaurant across the street- freezing it was, and I was wearing flip flops. (The CA girl in me, I guess) Ally had a sweatshirt with faux fir in the inside, and layers. (Yes, it was that cold!)
After we finished our delicious breakfast, we came back to the hotel to wake up dad and to get on the road. We stopped for lunch in St. Clairsville, Ohio where Ally and I went to the mall for a hour while Patrick slept in the truck. The intention was for Ally to run and get some energy out so she could sleep the rest of the way. Well, the mall was boring. For those of you who live in Nashville- it was just like Bellevue Center! Lots of empty store space.
Anyway, after one lap around the mall, Ally finds TILT (an arcade game place) and runs in… she finds a car she wants to drive in so I left her up to sit on the seat and to my surprise…….. Her diaper was missing! WHAT?! Yes, her diaper had fallen to her ankle and she had peed in her pants, twice! I hadn't noticed that while she was running this diaper has slightly just bulked out of her pant leg. I felt so awful, and not to mention embarrassed. We quickly ran back out to the truck and changed her clothes. Though it seemed to be pretty embarrassing, we all laughed about it hysterically throughout the rest of the day.
So, late Friday night/morning around 3:30am EST, we arrive in Cincinnati, Ohio. We got a hotel at the Red roof Inn- a nice quiet hotel across from a gas station and a Bob Evans restaurant. We exhaustingly walk up the stairs to the 2nd floor to our room. Ally and Nadia not ever being in a hotel before get very excited- excited enough to NOT SLEEP!! Little miss was so tired and excited that she would just toss and turn and spout out little sounds- just to make sure we were still right there. Ugh it was a long night! So, at 5am- she finally falls asleep and promptly at 9am- she's awake. So, I get up with her since Patrick was driving he needed the sleep more so than I did, Ally and I left to the restaurant across the street- freezing it was, and I was wearing flip flops. (The CA girl in me, I guess) Ally had a sweatshirt with faux fir in the inside, and layers. (Yes, it was that cold!)
After we finished our delicious breakfast, we came back to the hotel to wake up dad and to get on the road. We stopped for lunch in St. Clairsville, Ohio where Ally and I went to the mall for a hour while Patrick slept in the truck. The intention was for Ally to run and get some energy out so she could sleep the rest of the way. Well, the mall was boring. For those of you who live in Nashville- it was just like Bellevue Center! Lots of empty store space.
Anyway, after one lap around the mall, Ally finds TILT (an arcade game place) and runs in… she finds a car she wants to drive in so I left her up to sit on the seat and to my surprise…….. Her diaper was missing! WHAT?! Yes, her diaper had fallen to her ankle and she had peed in her pants, twice! I hadn't noticed that while she was running this diaper has slightly just bulked out of her pant leg. I felt so awful, and not to mention embarrassed. We quickly ran back out to the truck and changed her clothes. Though it seemed to be pretty embarrassing, we all laughed about it hysterically throughout the rest of the day.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Moving to Pittsburgh
Current mood:unappreciated
Ok... everyone knows that moving "in general" is frustrating, however, it doesn't need to be. It can go as smooth as you try to plan it to. But when you don't get help- it is overly frustrating. I have planned almost everything for this move- oh wait, I have planned EVERYTHING! And... so I am a little frustrated with the lack of help. We did have good news though, we found out the movers will here friday( this is GREAT news!) however, Patrick says, " oh we will just wait to pack when the movers get there" WHY??!! Who does that?? We need to have our stuff packed first that we need to move with us, so it is out of their way and they don't pack it with them!! All the stuff they pack we will not see until October 6th... so we need to put some thought into this packing , I mean, it is not just him, there is an adult, a baby and an animal coming along! he just says whatever, like it is just my issue~ does he not realize we are doing this for him and his career!! I am supportive, but i am getting frustrated that I am not being appreciated for any work that I have done! hmmm, I am starting to think that there may not being any more "family" moves in the near future unless someone can change their "whatever" attitude and help a little. ugh!!!!
Ok... everyone knows that moving "in general" is frustrating, however, it doesn't need to be. It can go as smooth as you try to plan it to. But when you don't get help- it is overly frustrating. I have planned almost everything for this move- oh wait, I have planned EVERYTHING! And... so I am a little frustrated with the lack of help. We did have good news though, we found out the movers will here friday( this is GREAT news!) however, Patrick says, " oh we will just wait to pack when the movers get there" WHY??!! Who does that?? We need to have our stuff packed first that we need to move with us, so it is out of their way and they don't pack it with them!! All the stuff they pack we will not see until October 6th... so we need to put some thought into this packing , I mean, it is not just him, there is an adult, a baby and an animal coming along! he just says whatever, like it is just my issue~ does he not realize we are doing this for him and his career!! I am supportive, but i am getting frustrated that I am not being appreciated for any work that I have done! hmmm, I am starting to think that there may not being any more "family" moves in the near future unless someone can change their "whatever" attitude and help a little. ugh!!!!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Grrrr~
Current mood: frustrated
I am totally frustrated! Plain and simple. This move had so far been going smoothly until... today. Well, I take that back. I have been hounding Patrick the past two weeks about contacting/following up with the relocation department to make sure we have got a date set for them to come and pack us up and move us, etc...he would say he was "working on it"... well, today he followed up and found out that (not his fault) HR lost his relocation paperwork!! Grrrr!!! So... we start from scratch, we wait yet again. This time we will already be gone to PA before FedEx comes to pick up our shit! It will work out I know, but how frustrating it is to feel like it is all under control and BAM- something falls apart.
I am overwhelmed in everything we really need to do around the apartment. There are certain things we need to pack up for the movers, and then there are certain items we need to pack up for our road trip. Now... this road trip will be all four of us, Patrick, me, Ally and Nadia- in the truck, towing my car. So needless to say I need some time to pack appropriately for this trip. We are behind in laundry and the place is a mess! I have been working on a ceramic piece and I need to finish it before this weekend. I called Ally's grandmother today to see if she could pick Ally up from school tomorrow, (so I can get caught up and so they can have Ally time before we leave) and she ALWAYS has some excuse not to. She's tired, or too busy, or she just doesn't want to. What grandparent doesn't want to spend time with their grandchild especially when we are moving away! I think they just have in their heads we are only going to be gone for a little while. It's a permanent move people- not a vacation!Because the other day we called to see if they wanted to meet us for dinner- no they were too tired. Well- i definately understand tired!! We have been trying hard to see people who really could care less to make an effort to see us, and honestly I am exhausted from trying. It is not just with them, it is with some of our friends too, but it really hurts our feelings that they don't make time for us, or make the time to come see us rather. Patrick has a "oh well, fuck it" kind of attitude and I am beginning to feel the same. I think we are just so stressed right now. This to shall pass... the feeling of stress I mean.
I am totally frustrated! Plain and simple. This move had so far been going smoothly until... today. Well, I take that back. I have been hounding Patrick the past two weeks about contacting/following up with the relocation department to make sure we have got a date set for them to come and pack us up and move us, etc...he would say he was "working on it"... well, today he followed up and found out that (not his fault) HR lost his relocation paperwork!! Grrrr!!! So... we start from scratch, we wait yet again. This time we will already be gone to PA before FedEx comes to pick up our shit! It will work out I know, but how frustrating it is to feel like it is all under control and BAM- something falls apart.
I am overwhelmed in everything we really need to do around the apartment. There are certain things we need to pack up for the movers, and then there are certain items we need to pack up for our road trip. Now... this road trip will be all four of us, Patrick, me, Ally and Nadia- in the truck, towing my car. So needless to say I need some time to pack appropriately for this trip. We are behind in laundry and the place is a mess! I have been working on a ceramic piece and I need to finish it before this weekend. I called Ally's grandmother today to see if she could pick Ally up from school tomorrow, (so I can get caught up and so they can have Ally time before we leave) and she ALWAYS has some excuse not to. She's tired, or too busy, or she just doesn't want to. What grandparent doesn't want to spend time with their grandchild especially when we are moving away! I think they just have in their heads we are only going to be gone for a little while. It's a permanent move people- not a vacation!Because the other day we called to see if they wanted to meet us for dinner- no they were too tired. Well- i definately understand tired!! We have been trying hard to see people who really could care less to make an effort to see us, and honestly I am exhausted from trying. It is not just with them, it is with some of our friends too, but it really hurts our feelings that they don't make time for us, or make the time to come see us rather. Patrick has a "oh well, fuck it" kind of attitude and I am beginning to feel the same. I think we are just so stressed right now. This to shall pass... the feeling of stress I mean.
Monday, September 18, 2006
6 years later...
Current mood:upset
Can you believe people hang on to their anger for years? I just received a hateful e-mail from someone from my past. It was simple to the point, but just plain hurtful. 6 years ago there was a break up, and with break ups there is hurt and with hurt there are feelings, words, and crazy thoughts, and worst off~ miss-communications. I feel like a miss-communication is the worst, especially if you are hurting because you can take something in the wrong content or believe something that is untrue (in this case) and it can crush all of you. Because we were never given the chance to make things right by explaining the truth at that time, I attempted a year later... but the damage was already done. You can't change the past, or anyone's feelings of the past for that matter. Over the past six years there might have been two or three e-mail correspondances, but nothing more than a couple of "how do you do's". Until recently. I guess it was my mistake. I wrote an e-mail to see how life was and family etc... a month later I get the e-mail I got today- angry as can be- to never contact him again- WOAH! was it that he never let go of his pain, his anger? Or is it that I still am hanging on hoping we could be aquaintances. I don't have any of the feelings I used to 6 years ago, but I have a hard time swallowing the idea of never speaking to someone I was so close to all because of a miss-communication. ugh!
Can you believe people hang on to their anger for years? I just received a hateful e-mail from someone from my past. It was simple to the point, but just plain hurtful. 6 years ago there was a break up, and with break ups there is hurt and with hurt there are feelings, words, and crazy thoughts, and worst off~ miss-communications. I feel like a miss-communication is the worst, especially if you are hurting because you can take something in the wrong content or believe something that is untrue (in this case) and it can crush all of you. Because we were never given the chance to make things right by explaining the truth at that time, I attempted a year later... but the damage was already done. You can't change the past, or anyone's feelings of the past for that matter. Over the past six years there might have been two or three e-mail correspondances, but nothing more than a couple of "how do you do's". Until recently. I guess it was my mistake. I wrote an e-mail to see how life was and family etc... a month later I get the e-mail I got today- angry as can be- to never contact him again- WOAH! was it that he never let go of his pain, his anger? Or is it that I still am hanging on hoping we could be aquaintances. I don't have any of the feelings I used to 6 years ago, but I have a hard time swallowing the idea of never speaking to someone I was so close to all because of a miss-communication. ugh!
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