Happiness is...

Current mood: calm

There was a time in 2004 that I made a gift with a piece of canvas and a couple of slaps of paint and named it ' happiness is' the painting was of 'us'. My happiness was being with him. To me- us together was so special.

I wonder how i let myself feel so hurt. People hurt us and we hurt people in life- its inevitable. We are human, so why do we choose what we can forgive and get over and what we don't? Our parents screw up so many times and only sometimes do we scream ' I have had enough' before we write them off or close them out. Same with our friends and our love relationships. No matter what type of relationship, hurt is hurt.

Patrick and I both have hurt each other, for so many stupid reasons- no doubt. Could it be because we were young and so damn confused about where we both were? I guess that could be one of those things we dwell on forever, but I am just so ready to give up the hurt. It hurts so much because I let it ( at this point). I do have to say there are so many types of hurtful pains and some definately hurt more than others... And each situation of forgiveness is different. God forgives everybody for everything, so why are we as humans to difficult to forgive?

I think to how I feel at the end of the day ( as my old roomie and BFF always asked/told me) ... she always said to reference that 'it's all how you feel at the end of the day'... at the end of the day, though sometimes I may feel sad, lonely, hurt, mad or whatever, I love Patrick whole-heartedly and we have a family and I have to think that all the previous challeneges should've destroyed us by now if they were going to. Are we denying it or are we not allowing greatness to take over?