Sitting in Silence

Current mood: lonely

I want to be able to have the type of relationship where people say, ' wow , you both look so happy'... And for it all to be true. I look at some friends pictures of their wedding and or honeymoon etc. and I see them having fun and being happy. Will I have that too? People automatically say yeah sure...but...........

I have great people in my life, infact I know and love absolutely wonderful people. I know I am blessed, and life with Patrick hasn't been terrible, but it hasn't been great. There are great things that could be out of the relationship... but I can't get over what happened. It has seemed to strip me of all of my trust, and all of my affection and all of my love. I know it's in there, but could we ever be better than this? Or are we really not meant to be? Some moments I think it's just me and it can work, other moments, I think 'get me the hell out of here'!

I really miss having friends... I have one friend here, who is fabulous and I adore him, but our relationship can only go so far, he is male and married, so I don't ever talk to him past 6pm- and we keep our friendship sincere but casual. But I need someone I can call, someone who calls me, who stops by, someone to go out with- someone to talk to abut 'stuff ' .........a girlfriend really. I talk to Jim about everything that goes on, but again... he is male, so that limits him, on a girls' perspective lol.... but then there are times when his words are just perfect.

I have my Allygator, but sometimes I just want to be an adult and do adult things.

I am just lonely...